The Road to Bryton - Day 3

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

This morning still no major movements, but if I really paid attention I would feel slight movements here and there.  By now I was becoming obsessed with looking up way’s to make my baby move.  Every website I searched had the same suggestions over and over again, all of which I kept trying so desperately to get my baby to move more.  

I am now 37 weeks pregnant and considered full term; I feel completely fine if this baby decides to arrive.  I am normally not like this.  I have experienced having a baby at 41 weeks and 37; I preferred letting a baby be born later, but I just felt uneasy.  I kept telling myself that the baby is fine and that I am just being unreasonably paranoid.   So I go about my day, searching here and there for another way to make my baby move and start to convince myself that she really is fine. 

When I got home from work Boston ran up to me and started talking to the baby and racing his Lightning McQueen on my belly.  I hurry and took a picture of him; this would be the last picture where Bryton was believed to be alive.

During my whole pregnancy I kept having anxiety attacks and insomnia.  This night would be no different.

The night of May 13, 2015 to May 14, 2015

All night I am tossing and turning.  In my dreams there is a figure there to take my baby.  I keep trying everything I can to keep them from taking my baby, but they will not leave.  I wake, cuddle up to my husband and go back to the same awful dream over and over again all night long.