The Road to Bryton - Day 5

Friday, May 15, 2015

Here we are again, another morning of no movement.  Before heading to work, I looked at our family calendar where all of us had made guessed about when this baby would arrive.  I had guessed May 18^th, which is our son’s birthday. The whole pregnancy I had a feeling she would come close to this date even though her actual due date was June 3^rd.

On my way into work I stopped and got a co-worker a birthday present.  I distinctly remember thinking, “what if I am walking around with a dead baby inside of me?”  As I stood in the checkout line I saw a cold red sugary drink and bought it, drinking something cold and with sugar was suppose to make babies move.

When I got into work I drank my sugary cold drink and got to work.  Around 11 am I was ready to go in into the hospital again. I was trying hard not to let anyone at work know what was going on in my mind and how stressed out and worried I was. I text my husband that I was going to head into labor and delivery, this baby would not move. After texting my husband I finally felt little flutters again.  Oh what relief I felt and went about the day and celebrating a birthday while entering a thicker fog; from this point forward anytime I would start to worry about my baby’s movement I would get distracted.

I can’t remember the rest of the day clearly.  I do remember at some point looking at the family pictures hanging in my office and thinking it bothered me I could not picture this baby being in them.  I pushed this thought aside, like I was doing with all of my worries and crazy thoughts by now. 

My husband say’s I mentioned being frustrated again about the baby not moving and just wanted her to try and break my ribs, like normal.  I did not feel an urgency to go into the hospital, instead I felt an urgency to make sure my hospital bag was packed, that my others kids had haircuts and that our camera equipment was ready to go.  After all we would be having a baby in a week or two and I did not want to be unprepared.